This devotion really spoke to me today. Ever since taking my biblical counseling class, It still amazes me how I've matured beyond the below level, although not a grown up, definately moving from early childhood. I used to describe my life as "high drama", but now I realize that my focus has moved from relying on my husband to fulfill, comfort, guide to God, who sits on high. As a result, our marriage has flourished. Not to mention that God is daily moving within my life, and his, and I am so proud to see him growing into a Godly man, filling yet another desire of my heart, and an answered prayer. Of course, every once in a while, I'll revert back into the "drama" thinking, after all, I was there for several years. However, armed with the knowledge that all is well when I surrender those thoughts to him, I quickly capture the comfortable ramblings of my past and whisper a prayer, surrendering them to my father, who I know is sovereign. A sense of calmness follows suit ~ delivering me from previous patterns of worry and misguided focus. When earthly trials overcome me, may I always remember to look up, for my God is bigger than everything and this prayer below is my prayer I'm claiming today .. A Rock that Is Higher Than I By Van Walton
"From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2 (NASB) <---great scripture!
Do you ever allow others' dispositions to dictate your mood? I do. If my son is struggling, I struggle. When his brother is burdened, I take on the burden. When my husband is under stress, I stress out. I recall my dad's long illness. Life literally came to a halt for me. How could I go about my daily routine when Daddy was suffering so? The details of his failing health overwhelmed me. Eventually my preoccupation with Daddy's deterioration paralyzed me. I lost all ability to function. God commands us to bear each others' burdens. (Galatians 6:2) The problem with me is that I don't stop at "bear." I carry my concerns to extremes. I feel like a traitor if I ignore difficult issues being faced by the ones I love. I feel I need to be in mourning, wearing black, dragging myself and everyone around me into my grieving experience. However, God's Word commands us to rejoice in all things! Where's the balance?
Recently I became concerned when my husband became extraordinarily quiet. I tried to justify his silence - "He has been coughing. Maybe he's getting sick." Yet he assured me all was well. On the way to church I wondered, "Is it something I have done? Maybe he isn't telling me because it is more serious than I can handle." Quickly I sent up a prayer. But when we parked the car, I parked my thoughts on worry. In church he leaned forward and placed his head in his hands. My upward climb toward a meaningful worship experience came to a halt. With a momentous note the piano brought the congregation to life. As we collectively filled the room with a song of praise, I looked up to my husband, seeking assurance that all was well. Before my eyes found his face, God interrupted my contemplations by reminding me of a childhood experience. The children in my neighborhood filled our Saturdays with hikes up into the surrounding hills. We spent the week discussing next Saturday's adventures. While making plans to explore mountain tops and peaks, we challenged ourselves to higher goals and longer hikes. Each Saturday morning we pointed out a spot far in the distance and made that our destination. Inevitably, when we arrived at our spot, we agreed to move higher. There was always a place ahead, higher still. God showed me that Sunday morning as I looked up at my tall husband for strength, assurance, and comfort, that I had not focused on a high enough place. My husband is tall, powerful, confident, and secure. He is my rock, like a solid mountain. When he exhibits signs of instability, I lose my footing! I know this is not my heavenly Father's plan. With sounds of worship all around me, God grabbed my attention. I heard Him say, "Don't stop here. There is a place that is higher…" With a deep sense of comfort, I joined the congregation with songs of praise for the One who is higher than I or my husband. He is God, the Almighty who sits on His throne. He is my goal, the direction I need to take. His is the face I need to seek in all circumstances.
Dear Lord, Forgive me for settling for less than You offer. I am guilty of allowing the things of earth, my family, preoccupations, challenges, and struggles to get in the way of my climb to the ultimate high. You are the place I want to go. Keep me moving until I reach You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
