Just thoughts ..

I've been thinking about Crystal a lot today. We prayed for her in class last night, and I got a call from my cell that I did not know the number, but it wasn't her. I am thinking about chronolically doing a blog so that I can keep up with dates and such, I have most of it in emails, but.. somehow I am left to just 'write' about her since I don't know where she is and haven't heard from her since... the middle of June. So I know it has been the longest that she has ever gone without calling. Everytime I hear her song, I think of her. When I created the myspace for her, it was 'something I could do' in hopes that someone would see her and would call. It's still up http://www.myspace.com/helpfindcrystal ~ so now i'm thinking about either doing a separate blog to chronical everything, or blog on myspace. I'm sure there are other parents out there in the same position I am, but I don't know that we have any type of support group or anything. MOMAC ~ Moms of Missing Adult Children ~ or perhaps HYSOC ~ Have You Seen Our Children? She is that, and although it is such a blessing that God has entrusted us with the care of our precious Darious, and I would not trade this gift that I've been given, I still miss her. And it still hurts. and only God can help me through these feelings I get every once in a while. I am going tonight to meet with New Family, New Life, a ministry that helps women in sexually oriented businesses get out of their profession into a healthier one. It's a foundation here in Dallas, and I am so blessed that God brought me to their site when I was searching for a non-profit that I have to do an assignment on. Perhaps someday they'll be helping her.

Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NAS).

I read a devotional this morning about a woman who, on her husband's day off, made an appointment to get her haircut. She didn't mention it to him, simply figured that since he would be home, and he enjoyed spending time with their two children, that he would not mind watching them when she went. The day before, her husband came home and announced that he had made a golf date with some buddies for the next day. She responded, saying " that's great! I hope you have a wonderful day!". She didn't even tell him, she simply cancelled the appointment. This is a perfect example of sowing into her marriage the fruit of exactly what is described in the above verse. I'm certain that in her marriage as she sows this way, she will continue to reap a loving relationship. I pray that I'll be able to stop at each circumstance I am faced with and be able to respond the way God has commanded me to! what a tall order, but definately one that God has promised through him that I can do !!

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Last night, our instructor presented us with a challenge that she has been given. Part of that challenge was exploring what characteristics capture a true servant leader. I've been thinking about this a lot, and calling myself into 'check' as to where I am in fulfilling the primary characteristics of a servant leader.

Am I kind to others? Am I living my life transparently enough that they can see
Christ through me?

This morning on the way to work, I was listening to a song whose words went something like "the amazing thing about amazing grace is being able to pour it out", and I remember thinking this statement was so true, it is amazing that God pours out his grace on us, and how he calls us to do the same to others.

Then, in my email today, I received a devotional that had the above line at the bottom. "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." As a receiver of God's grace, and just as it mentions in Zechariah 12:10, that God promises to "pour out a spirit of grace and supplication" on his people, I, too, in becoming more christlike, must strive daily to do the same.

So with today's triple whammy documented, and being a person who receives bountiful portions of grace daily, what a simple way to measure whether I am truly a woman of grace. Be kinder than necessary. Pour out grace.

Michael & Tiffany Bouska

Well, Today is a *NEW* Day.. over the Monday doldrums, and onto working towards Friday !! I've mentioned that we have seven kids (haven't I?) and we're raising our grandson. I'll introduce you to them in the next few posts. First, is our Daughter Tiffany and our Son-in-Law Michael. They got married a year ago this month! Tiffany is a high school calculus teacher at Magnolia High School, and she and her husband have just started working at a new embroidery business called "Life's A Stitch". They have the *cutest* new puppy .. Ace. They live in Tomball, Texas, near Houston. They just bought a new house, and we're very proud of them both. They love each other, and they love the Lord. My prayer is that God will bless them with the desire of their hearts, and that we'll have little Mikey and Tiffy's running around soon! (gotta pray for that, right?)

I'm feeling very overwhelmed today. I'm sure it will pass. On days like this, I make lists.. somehow listing all the things I have to do helps me to prioritize, and then the downside is that it helps me to procrastinate. Either way, the overwhelmingness leads me to take a deep breath, step away from the business and re-focus my thoughts on God. He gives me peace when chaos is all around me. On my desk is a small frame that Tiffany gave me that says " Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I together can't handle!" How True !! Please renew my spirit, restore my strength and refresh my heart today, Lord. As I go from here to class tonight father, help me to have a joyful heart and a peaceful mind.

I've been praying lately that God will bring other people into my life for close friendships as well as accountability. I know that I can't lose weight alone, and along with God's help I also need others that struggle with what I am struggling with to encourage me. I'm good at encouraging others, but somehow when it comes to "self-encouragement" ... I don't believe me. ha! Isn't that terrible? Since I'm now a month away from my heart surgery, and the doctor has released me, it's time to implement the "physical" phase of my change in lifestyle. I'm very proud that I have quit drinking coffee, actually cutting out all caffeine out of my diet (now that I have quit taking excedrin to give me enough energy to make it through the day!). My water consumption is definately NOT what it should be. And.. I would have to say that ice cream is still my downfall. I think its going to be like someone who smokes cigarettes .. either all or nothing. And for me to be successful in this next phase of life change, it's going to probably be 'nothing'. Or at least nothing most of the time. I did buy those little Blue Bell cups, so perhaps I'll work one or two a week of those into my diet, and forego those awesome Braums cherry creme and pecan shakes. Poor Darious, he'll really miss our stops at Braums on the way home! Ben has promised to get the Gazelle set up in our guest room, so that will be the first phase of exercise. Coupled along with a few nights of taking Darious out for walks, then I should be able to ramp-up the weightloss. We'll see! Still praying for those close friendships... I don't know why it is that I have 'lots' of acquaintances, but very few people that are close. I know its not that I don't trust others, sometimes I wonder if something in me is broken? I do have one very good friend, Dianna, but we definately do not get to spend enough time together with all that is going on right now! So two things ~ accountability ~ closer friendships. Near the top of the prayer chain for the week.

A Rock Higher Than I

This devotion really spoke to me today. Ever since taking my biblical counseling class, It still amazes me how I've matured beyond the below level, although not a grown up, definately moving from early childhood. I used to describe my life as "high drama", but now I realize that my focus has moved from relying on my husband to fulfill, comfort, guide to God, who sits on high. As a result, our marriage has flourished. Not to mention that God is daily moving within my life, and his, and I am so proud to see him growing into a Godly man, filling yet another desire of my heart, and an answered prayer. Of course, every once in a while, I'll revert back into the "drama" thinking, after all, I was there for several years. However, armed with the knowledge that all is well when I surrender those thoughts to him, I quickly capture the comfortable ramblings of my past and whisper a prayer, surrendering them to my father, who I know is sovereign. A sense of calmness follows suit ~ delivering me from previous patterns of worry and misguided focus. When earthly trials overcome me, may I always remember to look up, for my God is bigger than everything and this prayer below is my prayer I'm claiming today ..

A Rock that Is Higher Than I By Van Walton

"From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2 (NASB) <---great scripture!

Do you ever allow others' dispositions to dictate your mood? I do. If my son is struggling, I struggle. When his brother is burdened, I take on the burden. When my husband is under stress, I stress out. I recall my dad's long illness. Life literally came to a halt for me. How could I go about my daily routine when Daddy was suffering so? The details of his failing health overwhelmed me. Eventually my preoccupation with Daddy's deterioration paralyzed me. I lost all ability to function. God commands us to bear each others' burdens. (Galatians 6:2) The problem with me is that I don't stop at "bear." I carry my concerns to extremes. I feel like a traitor if I ignore difficult issues being faced by the ones I love. I feel I need to be in mourning, wearing black, dragging myself and everyone around me into my grieving experience. However, God's Word commands us to rejoice in all things! Where's the balance?

Recently I became concerned when my husband became extraordinarily quiet. I tried to justify his silence - "He has been coughing. Maybe he's getting sick." Yet he assured me all was well. On the way to church I wondered, "Is it something I have done? Maybe he isn't telling me because it is more serious than I can handle." Quickly I sent up a prayer. But when we parked the car, I parked my thoughts on worry. In church he leaned forward and placed his head in his hands. My upward climb toward a meaningful worship experience came to a halt. With a momentous note the piano brought the congregation to life. As we collectively filled the room with a song of praise, I looked up to my husband, seeking assurance that all was well. Before my eyes found his face, God interrupted my contemplations by reminding me of a childhood experience. The children in my neighborhood filled our Saturdays with hikes up into the surrounding hills. We spent the week discussing next Saturday's adventures. While making plans to explore mountain tops and peaks, we challenged ourselves to higher goals and longer hikes. Each Saturday morning we pointed out a spot far in the distance and made that our destination. Inevitably, when we arrived at our spot, we agreed to move higher. There was always a place ahead, higher still. God showed me that Sunday morning as I looked up at my tall husband for strength, assurance, and comfort, that I had not focused on a high enough place. My husband is tall, powerful, confident, and secure. He is my rock, like a solid mountain. When he exhibits signs of instability, I lose my footing! I know this is not my heavenly Father's plan. With sounds of worship all around me, God grabbed my attention. I heard Him say, "Don't stop here. There is a place that is higher…" With a deep sense of comfort, I joined the congregation with songs of praise for the One who is higher than I or my husband. He is God, the Almighty who sits on His throne. He is my goal, the direction I need to take. His is the face I need to seek in all circumstances.

Dear Lord, Forgive me for settling for less than You offer. I am guilty of allowing the things of earth, my family, preoccupations, challenges, and struggles to get in the way of my climb to the ultimate high. You are the place I want to go. Keep me moving until I reach You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Precarious Darious !

God has most recently blessed my husband and I with the raising of our Grandson, Darious Coleman, who will be two years old in August. Going through the testing of Crystal disappearing and both Ben and I coming together to raise a child *together* has been a tes tto our marriage, and a testimony to God's faithfulness in the realization that we are strong enough to endure this time, and most importantly, I see the strengthening of our relationship. Although I know both of us were looking forward to a time of 'just the two of us' , I have to praise God in his sovereignness, for it has been such a blessing to be given this opportunity to be an influence in his life and raise him as one of our own to grow in the Lord's light. Thank YOU God!

Letting the Holy Spirit Guide us !

The below devotional is so on target with Pete's message yesterday, I just had to share it. As we go into allowing the holy spirit to lead us through controversial political issues, it helps to know this bit of history. I can't help but think of the old saying "If you don't stand for something, you'll stand for anything". I took four (yes 4!) pages of notes yesterday, I'm going to put them on my LiveJournal - http://www.livejournal.com/lisaland

History Makers - By Sharon Glasgow

“And He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.’” Mark 16:15 (NKJV)

Devotion:
Many of our greatest history-makers followed the Holy Spirit’s leading.

In 1492 Christopher Columbus risked his life as he followed the Holy Spirit’s leading to an uncharted New World. He knew that he would be risking his life, but he had no real choice. The Lord put the idea in his mind, and he had to follow Him. He said that the gospel must be preached to every land to fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah, and Columbus felt time was of the essence.

King James, the King of England who gave us the first modern translation of the Bible, proclaimed in 1606 the authority for the three ships to set sail on charter by way of the Virginia Company. He wrote in the 1st Virginia Charter, “We, greatly commending and graciously accepting of their desires to the furtherance of...Christian religion to such a people as yet live in darkness…”

John Smith, Reverend Hunt and Capt. Newport were among the group of weary travelers aboard those three ships who dropped anchor at Cape Henry in Virginia Beach in April of 1607. They felt God’s leading all through their journey. Upon landing, they suffered an attack from the Indians. Immediately Hunt led them into three days of prayer and fasting for repentance of sins and in preparation of dedication of the land to God.

They erected a cross on the land and prayed a prayer of dedication to the God who led them to it. After Hunt prayed and asked for God’s blessings, he read Acts 26: 17-18. While reading the scriptures he was overwhelmed by God’s Spirit to the point he was gripped with emotion. He raised his trembling hands and eyes to heaven and prayed, “From these shores the Gospel shall go forth to not only this New World, but also to the entire world.”

On this day in 1607 the first permanent British settlement in North America, Jamestown, Virginia, was established. God’s hand was upon this crew who followed the Holy Spirit’s leading to America.

As we celebrate our country’s founding principles today we should look at the sacrifices made by our ancestors for the freedom of our nation. Columbus, King James, and John Smith are just a few of those who’ve sacrificed for us. What are we doing to carry on their work? Let’s never take for granted the sacrifices made by so many for our country.

The Holy Spirit leads, guides and directs every Christian. It is up to us to follow His leading.

Teach your children about the heritage of this great country, and that when they follow the Holy Spirit’s leading, they to can become History Makers. Our future depends on it.

Dear Lord, Help me to follow Your leading and not be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for I know it is the power that America and all countries need. Help me to be a leader for You. I don’t have the ability on my own, but through You I can do all things. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Application Steps:
Be ready to share biblical truths of God in your home, community, school and church anytime the Holy Spirit nudges you to.

Be diligent and determined to read your Bible. You will know God’s heart the more you read it, and the Holy Spirit will reveal what you need to do as you read.

Get on your knees and ask God to take full possession of your life, so that you can be at His disposal.

Reflections:
Are you faithful to follow the Holy Spirit in the small things? He may test you to see if you really mean business. As I reflect on this, I have to say, I don't know? It's not that easy to concentrate on the small things, so I'll have to think and pray on this one, I hope that I am. I know I allow him to take care of the big things, I am going to have to add this one to my conscious thoughts!

Following the Holy Spirit is not a matter of feeling, but faith. We don’t follow feelings but God’s promises. Your faith grips Gods heart into action and when He sees you living in faith battles are won and history is made

Power Verses:
I Corinthians 2: 9-10, “But as it is written: ‘Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.’ But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.” (NKJV)

Acts 1:8, “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, an in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. “(NKJV)

God Moments

I was reading a really great article today on "faithbooking". This is what I've been doing for several years that I call "scrapbooking my soul". Anyway, they suggested these topics, and I like them.. so I'm hoping to take a look at these and perhaps write something kthat speaks to the "God Moments" in my life. All it will take is going back through my journals, God does so much it will be fun to highlight the Best of the Best God Moments ! Here are the topics, just in case you want to do the same (okay, so probably no one is reading this, but hey, who knows?):

Amazing Rescue—a moment when God guarded you, healed you, rescued you, or made a way out for you.

Holy Attraction—a moment when God led you toward a healthier path, enabled you to resist a temptation, or inspired you to take the high road.

Unearned Blessing—a moment when God gave you an unexpected blessing or an underserved gift.

Revealed Truth—a moment when God spoke to you through the Bible, inner peace, wise counsel, or a God-inspired message.

Valuable Adversity—a moment in which God sustained you in a difficult time or made you stronger through the test of adversity.

(God Moments, Alan D. Wright,Multnomah Publishers, 1999.)

I love my husband..

I haven't mentioned it yet on this blog, but I do love my husband Ben Copeland. He encourages me every day, and as we get older, I thank God that he brought Ben into my life. Although with seven kids we have been through a lot in just 6 short years, it feels like a lifetime. It seems that the earlier years of my life are such a blur and that my time with Ben has been twice as long. I don't know if that is because we've been through so much.. with four teenagers in the house at the same time, and now raising our precious grandbaby Darious, we seem to move through seasons in our relationship much faster than I moved through them in the past. Does that make any sense? Well, it does to me anyway. Ben sent me this picture yesterday, as he is and always has been a big weather buff, and I rely on him to tell me what the temp is going to be, and help me determine what season I should dress for ~ here in Texas, it can snow in February and be 90 in December, so having a reliable weatherman for a husband is a big plus! They are not easy to come by you know. Or great men, and even better husbands. Once more, I am truly blessed!!

Meeting him was DEFINATELY one of my God Moments !!

The Heart Thang

This is a Guardian Angel that Debbie sent me before my heart cath before tomorrow. She also got me a willowtree Prayer Angel. We had such a wonderful day yesterday !! Ben and I and the boys went over to Hector and Debbie's, had lunch, then Debbie and I went out in her convertible ... man oh man the weather was B-U-TiFULL ! We went to Stonebriar to Kirklands (one of my FAV Places!!) so that I could pick up an inspirational print to match the other two I got Saturday.. now I have ... Hope, Love & Faith .. well, I've always had those, I just now have them in a gorgeous print on my wall :)

I'm a little apprehensive about the double heart cath tomorrow, hopefully it won't be toooo painful. I am trusting God, he knows what he is doing, and believing that he will be glorified through all this. He has me in his hands, I am his daughter, and he loves me !

Names in the Wall

A few weeks ago, we held a special service where we went out to our new building at Bent Tree and wrote the names of those we wanted to hold up in prayer, or most importantly, that we hoped would come to know Christ. Ben and I put all of our children's names on the wall as we pray for them continually, and we have a few that have not come to know God. I also added scripture to the wall ... I also added my life verse from Isaiah 61:1 - The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. I first came to know this verse during Beth Moore's study Believing God. That study grew me leaps and bounds in my faith, and deepened my trust in him.

Friday the 13th, What a GREAT DAY to Start!

Well, here's the first day in starting my blog. I have been really putting some thought to this, as I want to be able to keep the things I journal all in one spot, and I really feel that this may be the place where I can land, and keep up with all the thoughts, prayers, interesting information, jokes & such that I receive each day. I also have a terrible memory, so I'm hoping that by starting this blog I'll be able to remember all the things I want to remember. I'm excited about being able to get all this out there and lose all the paper trail. Here we go :)